I have all these fragments of ideas. They spin around my head, passing across the field of vision of my minds eye. Sometimes I can glimpse them long enough to understand what I’m looking at, but more and more frequently they don’t and I can’t.
I used to be very much in touch with my visual imagination. I could pretty much duplicate on paper (canvas, emulsion, LCD) what I saw in my mind, but that faculty seems to be escaping me. Maybe it’s old age, or maybe it’s just that I am out of practice. Maybe it’s like I said on a design blog recently that I’m too trapped in the HOW to see the things my mind is showing me.
I really want it back. I have been inspired a great deal lately by exposure to some local artists (both visual and musical) and I want to feed my need to create. I want to grasp those fluttering visions while they are in front of my mind’s eye and hold them there until I can reproduce outside my head what I see on the inside.
I want to be able to pick up my lead holder again and just put on paper what I know is supposed to be there, instead of suddenly finding myself unable to draw anything.
I don’t want to be vacant any more.