It has been hard to write lately.
I have this story, the one so many of you know. It’s about a boy, and a girl, and its almost finished. So close, in fact, I can taste it. One more entry. I’ve written it four times so far, and it still isn’t quite there. But don’t worry, it is coming. I have to put that story to rest.
I have another story – one about tigers and frogs, but I’m not ready to publish it yet. It’s a lot of the reason its been so hard to write anything else. It’s a good story – maybe the best story – full of powerful, deep, abiding and respectful love, triumph of care over distance and sunshine over darkness. I think its the most important story of my life. But I’m not quite ready for everyone else to read it.
I’ve begun to realize that like so many other authors, I find it easier to write from pain rather than contentedness. Like Hemmingway (and no, I don’t have the balls or the skill to dare to compare myself to his particular brand of Hennessy-soaked brilliance), I have always found it a far simpler task to write from a place of fear.
But I’m not in that place of fear any more. I am not in a perfect place, I have not achieved grace – maybe I never will, but I am not afraid any more. I do not fear uncertainty, though I tremble at the imposing, horizon-blotting figure it cuts. I will not let its lcy grip still my heart. I will push on with what I know in to be right and true.
I feel I must learn to write from a position of love. Many may scratch their head at the unusual counterpoint of love and fear, but it is not hate that is the polar opposite of love, but fear.
I don’t want to write from fear any more. I am not afraid any more. Love is sunshine, fear is darkness.
Sunshine has conquered darkness.