A Rain of Frogs

While I have heard it before, you are right in thinking that it is somewhat secondary to us.

Of course, it all depends on setting and environment, but when engaging in a conversation with someone, I would agree that we would rather ask something along the lines of: “What are you up to?”

It then all depends on how much the person identifies with his actual job and to what extent his daily activities bring bread on the table.

I am happy to say that the first thing we ask, though, more often is: “What are you having?” Cheers!

I used to live in Eastern Europe, where the first question is “How much money do you make?” (I hear this is the first question in Japan, too.)

Westerners find that question REALLY offensive. For me personally, it is just irrelevant. I work at my job because I love it… not because it pays the best.

I prefer to ask people, “So how do you like to spend your free time?” It is a far more interesting question, and leads to a real conversation, instead of the inevitable dead spot that follows “What do you do for a living?”...

“I’m an accountant.”

“Oh.”

(...twiddle thumbs…)

(...look off into the distance…)

“So I’m gonna go get another drink. See ya!”

I guess I’ve been realigning my understanding of things lately, because I have recently found myself perplexed by so many things that most people around me would consider utterly normal.

Part of it might come from the recent liberation of my working hours. It’s a lot harder to answer “I’m a freelance web designer and musician” than it is to say I work for such-and-such.

Freelance web designer and musician inevitably seems to come off as “suckerfish leeching off society’s broken back” instead.

It’s a bit depressing, really.

Next time someone asks me what I do I’m going to tell them something ridiculous.

“You know those ‘Body’ exhibits where they make art out of real human cadavers? I’m the guy with the high-speed saw skills.”

Let’s see where that goes.

You can’t ask ‘what you do while you’re NOT an accountant’ unless you first ask ‘what do you do’. ;)

Sure, go and get logical. How does that help? :)

I tend to not initiate the following topics:

1) Wife
2) Kids
3) Job

There are plenty of opportunities that people present (usually subconsciously) that open the door to these topics.

If I really wanted to know, I’d just scan their brain with my mind powers anyway. ;)

The problem is not really connected to the question, but more often to the answer.
If the answer to ‘what do you do?’ is ‘accountant’ followed by a long silence, it seems like whatever the question you are still faced by someone who is an accountant and nothing else apart from the long silence.
When people ask me what I do I quite often tell them I sell insurance but that I prefer to talk about sex death politics religion or literature (choose a topic).
The truth is, though, I don’t sell insurance . . .

My male friend and I were discussing this exact topic yesterday at lunch. He was talking with a girl on YIM and she asked him what he does for fun: He replied: Do you really care? and she replied: No. So, why do we feel like we need to ask dumb, useless questions….I prefer to ask, hows life? Because that way, at least the other person can really express him/herself.