A friend recently commented on my creative slump. He suggested that perhaps I am trying too hard. There is definite merit in this, but I cannot and will not accept that I am trying to hard.
I explained to him that I feel on the cusp of a leap to a new level of understanding (at least in terms of visual art). I keep leaping, trying to grab the ledge of this new level and pull myself up, and every time I jump, I get just a tiny bit closer, but end up standing in the same place I was. I’ll keep jumping, and I’ll keep grasping, and some day I’ll pull myself up onto that new plateau and start exploring.
But until then, I have to keep striving. I cannot stop jumping, or I’ll never reach the ledge. There is not easy way up to it, and there’s not shortcuts. Trying too hard CAN choke you creatively, but the difference between what I’ve been doing and trying too hard is that I have NEVER tried for force my work. I try and I try to open my “innocent eye” but I never – EVER – try to force something onto the canvas, torturing contrast into some horrific stillbirth of my creative misery.
You can’t force it. But you can keep leaping for that ledge. And I will keep leaping, till I finally get there. In the mean time you’ll all just have to suffer along with me.