A Rain of Frogs

Canada decides not to back a controversial (and already obsolete) missile defense program, and like magic, Canadian beef is suddenly not allowed into the United States again.

Here’s the thing. Is America using economic warfare against its “friendly neighbor” and “extraordinary trade partner” to force American policy on another soverign nation? The WTO has already found American softwood tariffs illegal by treaty, and just a week ago the FDA stated that Canadian beef is safer than US beef because of the superior tracking and testing processes Canadians have put in place.

If the USA treats its closest trade partner like this, how do you think it’s going to treat someone who has a history of pissing it off (Iike, Europe?). Why shouldn’t Canada begin now to establish strong East-West trade relationships with burgeoning economies like Europe and China, instead of with the rapidly failing United States?

Washington needs to understand. Canadians are not citizens of an undereducated 3rd world country susceptible to insultingly bad propaganda and unveiled economic threats. We are not Iraq. Or North Korea. Or Iran. Or Alabama. The ineffective Canadian government needs to understand that the US is not Canada’s only option. It’s not even a good one.

America needs to grasp the new world order. Nobody gives a crap about them any more, except when they find US soldiers crapping in the garden. America is yesterday’s news, except the US government hasn’t told them yet. If America would get its nose out of the middle east and concentrate on its own problems (educating its obese population, eliminating its extraordinary debt, cleaning up its environmental record) then maybe deranged madmen in turbans would stop blowing buildings up.

In the meantime, maybe Canada should have Jacques, Gerhard, Vladimir and Jintao up for a good old fashioned Muskokan steak barbecue. They can all sit in high quality softwood chairs and munch on as much Grade A BSA-free Canadian T-bone goodness as they want while discussing mutual respect and beneficial trade amongst equals.

Three in a row today. When it rains, it pours. And sometimes it doesn’t. Rain isn’t political, but it often shows which way the wind is blowing.

American preoccupation with religion is not laughable, as would appear on first glance, but frightening. Once again the US Supreme court must decide if theology has a place in government. It’s a far-ranging issue south of the border, where children pledge their allegiance to America under god, and even their coinage makes reference.

This is a country that is “spreading democracy” to the world, starting with Islamic, oil-bearing states. That the countries in question are not in fact having free elections, is irrelevant to the spread of democracy. As is the fact that America is not a democracy either.

America must get its head out of its collective potato-chip ass (ooh, lets pander to more stereotypes!) and get a grip. American Government is not about freedom, it is about control. Absolute control. As a famous and well respected (non-American) politician once said, the government has no place in the bedroom. And theology should have no place in government. It warps people. Rational discussion becomes difficult, and other countries that adhere to different religious beliefs become natural enemies. They have to, if you think about it. They threaten your very way of life.

If a Canadian or Western European politician were to mention god in public, they’d be run out of town on the nearest rail, if not nailed to the closest tree as well. When the government is attached to one theology, all the other theologies must bend to its will. That’s not freedom. It’s oppression, masquerading as tradition, and it’s counter to the First Amendment. The USA is currently the most powerful theological government in the world, which makes its military action in any non-christian country into a crusade. Worse, America is, as it always has, claiming the moral high ground. Hypocritical AND wrong is a bad place to be when your Ankh-toting neighbors are starting to get annoyed and talk to one another.

Get god out of the government, America. It’s in dollars we trust anyway.

First, I’ve been sick as hell. It would appear that the last week of February and the first week of March are the window of opportunity for illness when it comes to my immune system. Maybe the antibodies are on general strike, like French transit workers in July. I hate it. This time last year was the Case of the Exploding Appendix, for those who care to recall. As a matter of fact, today is the anniversary of said explosion, though tomorrow is the anniversary of the surgery.

Notwithstanding my appendix, Apple is graciously opening a store here in Canada this spring. May 21 is the day the disposable income dies. Apple is so cool it takes the likes of Pauly Shore to counterbalance them and maintain stability in the universe. Thanks Apple, in advance.

My middle kid turned 8 yesterday. He’s a great kid. Too smart by half. There’s no story here. I just wanted to say that I feel awful for him. He’s a middle child. He’s a sensitive kid. And no matter what I do, no matter with what intentions, gets messed up somehow. I truly believe this kid is going to grow up to hate me. I don’t want my son to hate me.

Except in the usual teenage way.

Back from the brink, my friends. Though this was not the best year to ski Whistler/Blackcomb, it was still better than skiing in Ontario.

With about a mile of vertical and some remarkably challenging runs, this ski-trip to the west coast of Canada was more than worth it. I got to visit some friends and family, I got to see some spectacular sights, and I got to ski what might be Canada’s longest ski runs.

In short, it was a blast.

More pictures will follow, but for now, the above Notice will have to suffice. I will post a play-by tonight, complete with more fine images from the top of the world.

On Saturday, February 12th at approximately 11:30 Eastern Time, a crack team of Canucki agents compromised the border of Americaland disguised as a young couple from a small southwestern Ontario town. Aided by a top agent disguised as a nine year old boy, they successfully infiltrated the country and began executing “Operation Aluminium.”

Operation Alumimium was conceived in a collaborative communication between Canucki insurgents and a group of Americans determined to subvert the system from within. Through careful planning and delicate execution, the plan was a success. Charged with bringing a 12-inch 1.5GHz Powerbook G4 across the border, the Canucki insurgents boldly stepped through Homeland Security.

Despite a last-minute botch by UPS which nearly endangered the entire process, Operation Alumimium is a complete success.

I would like to thank those friends for helping me secure my new Powerbook. It’s dead sexy. I am looking forward to being able to run all that software that the G4 Cube and iBook weren’t able to run, and besides, it’s dead sexy.

Agony, ended.