A Rain of Frogs

I’ve recently run across the “101 in 1,001” meme on dozens of blogs all over the place. It struck me as a really fascinating idea, so I’ve set out to create my own list. Yeah, maybe I’m jumping on a bandwagon, but sometimes the bandwagon is so good you just can’t help it.

I won’t go out of my way to create a new entry every time I accomplish something on the list, but I will every once in a while post that I’ve accomplished a number of things on the list.

Apparently the big day is Wednesday, February 27, 2008. As soon as I figure out how to add a countdown timer to this in textpattern, there will be a friendly reminder of how much time I have left.

The Mission:

Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:

Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on your part).

Body

1 – Take a yoga class and stick with it for at least three weeks.
2 – Go 21 days without eating food that wasn’t prepared by me.
3 – Take up a martial art and stick with it for at least three weeks.
4 – Weight between 170 and 175 pounds for at least three months.
5 – Do 100 push-ups in one session.
6 – Get a tattoo.
7 – Do 100 crunches in one session.
8 – Cycle 1000km in 10 consecutive days.
9 – Stop drinking coffee for seven consecutive days without being cranky.
10 – Consume nothing but water for 24 consecutive hours.
11 – Run 10km in one session.
12 – Stop consuming dairy for seven consecutive days.
13 – Have a pedicure.
14 – Bleach my hair blonde.

Mind

15 – Take a digital photography course.
16 – Take a philosophy course.
17 – Take a vegetarian cooking class.
18 – Read War and Peace.
19 – Read the Koran cover-to-cover.
20 – Read the Bible cover-to-cover
21 – Write a fictional story and publish it online.
22 – Build a homemade telescope.
23 – Avoid watching television for 14 consecutive days.
24 – Practice handwriting till I find a hand I like, then use it consistently ever after.
25 – Find a picture of myself I like, frame it and hang it.
26 – Avoid swearing for one day without getting cranky about it.
27 – Create a new email address and use it as my principle account.
28 – Have a dinner that costs more than $200.
29 – Have a dinner that costs less than $2.Soup: $0.45, Two pieces toast: $0.48. Dinner for 93 cents. – August 22, 2005
30 – Spend a week without using a computer.
31 – Spend 6 hours in the AGO.
32 – Wake up at 6:00am every day for seven consecutive days without going to bed before 11:30pm.

Soul

33 – Visit the graves of my three dead grandparents.
34 – Give a flower to a random person on the street.
35 – Make a new friend.
36 – Put $5 into a jar every day for a calendar year and give total to a charity.
37 – Learn to say “Thank you for making the world a better place” in 10 non-english languages.
38 – Work 10 hours in the local food bank.
39 – Pay for the order of the person behind me in the Tim Horton’s drive-thru.
40 – Find ten good things to say about George W. Bush.
41 – Create an indoor zen garden at least 4 square feet in area.
42 – Make a new enemy.

Joy

43 – Have dinner with a Muslim and a Jew.
44 – Visit a Buddhist temple.
45 – Stay up all night and watch the sunrise.
46 – Rip all my CDs and then pack them away.
47 – Keep an active sketchbook for three consecutive months.
48 – Paint a painting.
49 – Go to a firing range and shoot a handgun.
50 – Watch all three Godfather movies.
51 – Learn to make five fancy alcoholic drinks, of which at least two require a blender.
52 – Go on a proper picnic, complete with gingham picnic cloth, picnic basket and ants.
53 – Climb a tall tree.
54 – Have one of my websites slashdotted.
55 – Buy “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” on DVD, and watch it at least once without being interrupted.
56 – Play a correspondence chess game and win.
57 – Have an aquarium and keep the fish alive for at least 6 months.
58 – Go to a Toronto Maple Leaf’s hockey game.
59 – Have a real pen pal I’ve never met before, with real paper letters (not email).
60 – Bake a blueberry pie with fresh blueberries.
61 – Find an after-hours club in my city and attend.
62 – Juggle four objects for at least 5 minutes without dropping any of them.
63 – Meet a girl named “Gwen” and buy her a drink.

World

64 – Discontinue all newspapers to my house.
65 – Plant two trees.
66 – Grow an interesting indoor plant (and not kill it).
67 – Trim the hedge (12 feet tall, 100 feet long, 8 feet thick!).
68 – Avoid using of a car for 7 days.
69 – Grow three different vegetables in a garden, and eat them.

Music

70 – Record an original song and publish it online.
71 – Play a gig in which at least 50% of the songs are original music. Last Wednesday night was really slow. We played two covers and 12 originals. – August 23, 2005
72 – Busk with a complete stranger for at least an hour, but leave all the money for them.
73 – Practice bass scales for an hour a day for seven consecutive days.
74 – Attend Hillside.
75 – Build a fretless bass.
76 – Build a matching fretted bass.
77 – Learn Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue flawlessly on piano.
78 – Play six gigs in six consecutive nights.

Money

79 – Zero my VISA balance and keep it that way for three consecutive months.
80 – Put $5 into a jar every day for a calendar year and use the total to spoil myself.
81 – Draft my will.
82 – Buy at least one share in Apple.

Stuff

83 – Finally get around to getting a passport.
84 – Get a cool black leather jacket. Christmas 2005. Is anything cooler than black leather?
85 – Replace my nine year old Ray-Ban sunglasses (harder than you’d think). bought new Rayban sunglasses (polarized!) – June 24, 2005
86 – Buy at least 5 really interesting antique keys.
87 – Sell something I love. - my Contessa 26!
88 – Buy a TerraTrike TTS.
89 – Throw out 20 things I haven’t used in the last six months.
90 – Buy a dSLR.
91 – Throw out five things I’ve owned for more than five years (that weren’t involved in any other list item).
92 – Buy an expensive bottle of Single Malt.
93 – Buy an original piece of art and hang it on a wall.

Life

94 – Visit New York City for at least 48 hours.
95 – Visit Montreal for at least 48 hours.
96 – Spend a night at anchor (not in port) alone in my boat.
97 – Cycle and camp across Canada from Pacific to Atlantic.
98 – Skydive.
99 – Dip my toes in the Atlantic and Pacific oceans in the same week.
100 – Circumnavigate Lake Ontario solo on my sailboat.
101 – See the Aurora Borealis from Baffin Island.

And that’s the list. I know of dozens of other bloggers who are doing this, but that’s no reason you shouldn’t.

Sometimes a picture is worth more than a thousand words; sometimes it expresses something words only fail at.

Everything you ever needed to know about my East-European upbringing can be summed up in this one very concise photo.

If the shoe fits…

I am shoe whore.

There. I’ve said it. I dig shoes. I REALLY dig shoes. Shoes are among the first assets I appraise when looking at a woman. Well, like third or fourth. But I seriously do look, and it does matter. Any woman who can choose a shoe that flatters both her leg and her outfit is doing it right, in my opinion.

Shoes are something I pay attention to. Shoes are important.

It has been said that for a guy, I have a lot of shoes. At present, I own about six pairs of shoes, all of which I wear relatively regularly. I don’t think that’s an excessive amount. Granted, it doesn’t include winter boots (two pair), rubber boots for wet bog-type experiences (one pair) or specialty footwear, like ski boots (two pair), cycling shoes (one pair), roller blades (one pair) or ice skates (one pair).

I am (and this is weird) complimented on my footwear rather more frequently than one would expect. My footwear is not particularly “trendy,” nor is it particularly expensive. It is, in general, classically lined and complimentary to my foot and the clothes I am wearing. This seems to have an impact on women (and some men). I quite enjoy the attention my shoes garner, and I choose my footwear with care.

Shoe whore? If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Sophomoric

On a completely untangental topic, I am constantly stunned by the sheer “high-schoolness” of people.

You know what I mean? People who never left high school behind, still stuck in the tiny mindset of social groupings and worrying about the opinions of others.

The whole thing is just silly. He said, she said, John’s having an affair with Melissa and Allie is completely unaware, though she is fascinated with the bass player from the Grey Matter Trio. Mark just got a new job (which apparently his uncle got for him, since he’s such a loser and can’t hold a job down).

And on and on and on. Ad nauseum (I get 5 points for using that term on a monday.)

People need to get a grip. Why get so involved with someone else’s life when you’re barely capable of keeping your own together? Where’s the love?

Besides, it’s virtually impossible to wear your baseball cap sideways with any kind of authority if your head’s still up your ass.

Going commando

And on to underwear, everyone’s favorite topic.

First and foremost, I don’t get the whole national infatuation with the thong – or anal floss, as I like to think of it.

I totally get the desire to eliminate the visible panty line. I truly do. A panty line can ruin a pretty dress even faster than a bad shoe can. But what is it that makes a woman in a thong a thing of sexual desire?

I like sexy underwear, I really do, but the thong just never appealed to me. Maybe I just don’t get it, maybe I’m a lost cause on this topic.

Sexy underwear though, I really do get. and I know I get it because I’ve seen it all over the place lately. Except it’s not really fair to call it underwear when it’s worn on the outside.

Girls have been wearing bedroom attire to the bars lately. Not pajamas, but negligées and cute little camisoles complete with the lace trimming and nothing underneath.

While this is certainly not a trend I am complaining about, it does leave me wondering. In some cases, these are not outfits that do anything flattering for the women wearing them, and in others, it’s highly distracting on stage, and my guitar player tends to get positively sarcastic with me when I screw up.

I took a long long walk last night. It was very beneficial, aside from the obvious health benefits of walking for two hours. It was night, my favorite time of the day, and it was warm, and calm.

It helped me reign in some of the wild thoughts careening around my mind – thoughts like bulls in china shops, breaking all the pretty things and making it dangerous to walk around barefoot. And I love wandering around the twisty mazes of my mind barefoot.

I feel a lot more at peace today than I have for a little while. It hasn’t been a long time, but it was too long. Too much anger. I hate my anger. I am not, as a general rule, an angry person, but sometimes I get caught in a vortex, and my anger feeds back on itself. I get mad that I’m mad, and I end up very unbalanced.

It’s a disturbing feeling.

But the walk last night, calm, warm, lots of fresh air and lots of time to settle myself down was good. I was able to locate the grain of truth in the center of the pearl of anger I had created.

Keep in mind this doesn’t mean I’ve come to terms with that truth. Just that I know where it is. Locating it made me feel much less off kilter, and more capable of examining myself – not dispassionately, which would be a tragedy, but honestly.

Maybe someday I’ll be able to stand over that truth, and finally figure out what it is.

take my mind and gently knead it until ideas start flowing again
there’s seven high seats at the low round table but no guests to fill them
that’s okay they’d only eat bran flakes until kirk has another enema anyway

anything worth doing is worth doing well
and it’ll be difficult unless you’re good at it
in which case it’ll look effortless and you can charge more

four times fifty lost confused men (and we heard no sigh nor groan)
were left hanging on a dead mans gallows
while crows pretending to be starlings alit upon their brow

coffee tea me you him her them us double double regular black
bow down and worship the god of hockey and caffeine
or the gods of detroit iron and dinosaur gasoline

burn the fish feed the boats lock the princess behind the moat
ten thousand airplanes fill the sky with pain and V12 power
kilroy may have been here but all he got was this lousy shirt

kill the headlights on the long drive it doesn’t make sense
that in the darkness the light looks like death
and in the bright light of civilization darkness looks like debt

take my gun and gently shoot it until ideas start flowing again
theres no guests at the high table but there’s three low chairs anyway
and in the silence at the end of time click here